Beautifully written, Mary...I can feel your sadness, disbelief...and dare I say relief? I know there’s a kind of peace that comes with knowing there’s no more suffering. You’re very good with the details...love knowing about the t-shirt! Thank you for sharing such intimacy with your family, with your heart. We must keep writing about our guys... (from Les Mis) ...”When you're gone, who remembers your name;who keeps your flame, who tells your story?” We will! 💕
Joan, thank you! I’m finding out that grief can be a way of moving forward. It’s hard to admit that, yes, there is relief. But when I use the bathroom, I think, It’s so nice that I don’t have to clean the toilet every day. 😊 Thank you for your kind words about my writing. There are reasons why this Substack is called Writer, interrupted. I feel like I have to make up for the years I didn’t share my writing, and sometimes didn’t write at all. It feels great to be doing this.❤️
I’ve been writing my whole life...but sometimes I just don’t for awhile. This is a safe and thoughtful space to write/share/meet others. I’m so glad I found you here. Keep moving forward, keep healing, keep writing... you have a gift. 😊
For God's sake, Mary. This is absolute genius. You have grabbed ahold of that third rail of absolute raw truth, held tight, and ripped it from its source to show us. I feel privileged to read this. And unbelievably fortunate to know you. My heart hurts for that gap between writing such beautiful prose and waiting for it to be read. I literally just finished it. I'm having trouble these days with time. Somehow it has become nonlinear for me. So many examples of universal coincidences I can't recall them all. Know this. I'm sitting here pecking out my response (I never learned keyboarding skills and I type with 2-3 fingers) I'm enjoying a Sprite Zero and wearing a pair of black jeans that aren't supposed to fit. We always thought so, but we are definitely in each others soul pod. See you soon!
Colleen, my pod mate, you give me strength and hope. I feel so blessed to know you. You always lift my spirits. Thank you for your words. I can’t tell you how honored and grateful I feel. And yes, I am finding peace in my heart. It’s taken me a lifetime, but it is happening, with the help of my angels.❤️
I've seen patients slowly fading into the one thing we can't avoid, death. Their disease had overcome them. But it hurts somewhere inside me every time I see it happening. How are their families going to take it? No amount of words can replace the pain of losing a loved one.
This post brought tears to my eyes. It's beautifully written. I hope and pray that you'll find peace in your heart someday.
Thank you for this. It was a blessing that my husband received excellent and compassionate care, and that his pain was well-managed. I believe he had a good death, following a good life. Writing about him takes me to a meditative place. I can tell from your note that you are are a good doctor and a fine human being. I’m glad you are doing this fine work for your patients and their families.❤️
I’m in tears, Mary.... thinking how hard to write this but knowing it helps so very much to get it all down. Thank you for sharing these raw and deep emotions ...mine are still in the drawer, the words from those first few hours. This is why I recommend you, your ability to pull us in and keep us to the end.
Thank you, Joan! It was such a rush of emotions at that moment. I had to just sit with them for a while before beginning the article. I took a few dozen pictures of his rings, and spent some time editing them. That helped me clarify my feelings.
Thank you for recommending and sharing my work. I’m deeply honored and grateful for your support. I feel like we have so much in common. I’m glad to be with you on this journey.❤️
❤️ I realize I commented earlier when first posted...but it sure grabbed me again! Never know when tears will come, guess I needed a few today. Happy weekend to you! 😊
This is incredibly moving Mary, incredibly poignant and took me right back to nursing my mum right to the end of her stage five kidney cancer. Every word resonates and funnily enough, her favourite Dylan song was also Subterranean Homesick Blues and Tom Thumb Blues. Wishing you happiness in your healing.
My dad passed away this summer in hospice. This took me back to the bedside, the whispered words, the "i love yous," "thank you for being my dads," "you can let gos."
Laura, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. It’s hard to let go. But I’m glad you had the chance to be there with him. It’s comforting to know that he heard you, and you helped guide him through the difficult work of dying. And gave you the gift of grief. I really do believe that grief opens your heart. Blessings.❤️
Thank you for your kind words. What an interesting coincidence: “Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues” is not a particular favorite of most people, but it’s definitely one of mine. It’s got a certain special melancholy that really speaks to me. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person, and so do you. I’m glad you were able to spend time with her in her last days. Blessings to you.❤️
Beautifully written, Mary...I can feel your sadness, disbelief...and dare I say relief? I know there’s a kind of peace that comes with knowing there’s no more suffering. You’re very good with the details...love knowing about the t-shirt! Thank you for sharing such intimacy with your family, with your heart. We must keep writing about our guys... (from Les Mis) ...”When you're gone, who remembers your name;who keeps your flame, who tells your story?” We will! 💕
Joan, thank you! I’m finding out that grief can be a way of moving forward. It’s hard to admit that, yes, there is relief. But when I use the bathroom, I think, It’s so nice that I don’t have to clean the toilet every day. 😊 Thank you for your kind words about my writing. There are reasons why this Substack is called Writer, interrupted. I feel like I have to make up for the years I didn’t share my writing, and sometimes didn’t write at all. It feels great to be doing this.❤️
I’ve been writing my whole life...but sometimes I just don’t for awhile. This is a safe and thoughtful space to write/share/meet others. I’m so glad I found you here. Keep moving forward, keep healing, keep writing... you have a gift. 😊
So glad you’re here, too.❤️
For God's sake, Mary. This is absolute genius. You have grabbed ahold of that third rail of absolute raw truth, held tight, and ripped it from its source to show us. I feel privileged to read this. And unbelievably fortunate to know you. My heart hurts for that gap between writing such beautiful prose and waiting for it to be read. I literally just finished it. I'm having trouble these days with time. Somehow it has become nonlinear for me. So many examples of universal coincidences I can't recall them all. Know this. I'm sitting here pecking out my response (I never learned keyboarding skills and I type with 2-3 fingers) I'm enjoying a Sprite Zero and wearing a pair of black jeans that aren't supposed to fit. We always thought so, but we are definitely in each others soul pod. See you soon!
(I will try very hard not to be late)
Colleen, my pod mate, you give me strength and hope. I feel so blessed to know you. You always lift my spirits. Thank you for your words. I can’t tell you how honored and grateful I feel. And yes, I am finding peace in my heart. It’s taken me a lifetime, but it is happening, with the help of my angels.❤️
I've seen patients slowly fading into the one thing we can't avoid, death. Their disease had overcome them. But it hurts somewhere inside me every time I see it happening. How are their families going to take it? No amount of words can replace the pain of losing a loved one.
This post brought tears to my eyes. It's beautifully written. I hope and pray that you'll find peace in your heart someday.
Thank you for this. It was a blessing that my husband received excellent and compassionate care, and that his pain was well-managed. I believe he had a good death, following a good life. Writing about him takes me to a meditative place. I can tell from your note that you are are a good doctor and a fine human being. I’m glad you are doing this fine work for your patients and their families.❤️
I’m in tears, Mary.... thinking how hard to write this but knowing it helps so very much to get it all down. Thank you for sharing these raw and deep emotions ...mine are still in the drawer, the words from those first few hours. This is why I recommend you, your ability to pull us in and keep us to the end.
Love and hugs to you.
Thank you, Joan! It was such a rush of emotions at that moment. I had to just sit with them for a while before beginning the article. I took a few dozen pictures of his rings, and spent some time editing them. That helped me clarify my feelings.
Thank you for recommending and sharing my work. I’m deeply honored and grateful for your support. I feel like we have so much in common. I’m glad to be with you on this journey.❤️
❤️ I realize I commented earlier when first posted...but it sure grabbed me again! Never know when tears will come, guess I needed a few today. Happy weekend to you! 😊
Joan, you can say nice things to me as often as you’d like. I promise not to take it the wrong way.😊 Enjoy your weekend, dear friend.💕
😅😁😘
This is incredibly moving Mary, incredibly poignant and took me right back to nursing my mum right to the end of her stage five kidney cancer. Every word resonates and funnily enough, her favourite Dylan song was also Subterranean Homesick Blues and Tom Thumb Blues. Wishing you happiness in your healing.
This is so very beautiful, Mary. I felt I was right there.
Thank you, Mary. You are very kind.❤️
Dang it!!! I was not expecting all the feels today. So well done! This will live with me...
My dad passed away this summer in hospice. This took me back to the bedside, the whispered words, the "i love yous," "thank you for being my dads," "you can let gos."
Laura, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. It’s hard to let go. But I’m glad you had the chance to be there with him. It’s comforting to know that he heard you, and you helped guide him through the difficult work of dying. And gave you the gift of grief. I really do believe that grief opens your heart. Blessings.❤️
Thank you for your kind words. What an interesting coincidence: “Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues” is not a particular favorite of most people, but it’s definitely one of mine. It’s got a certain special melancholy that really speaks to me. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person, and so do you. I’m glad you were able to spend time with her in her last days. Blessings to you.❤️
Such poignant memories: like taking a hot and cold shower - full of joy and tragedy. 🕊️💙